USAA – Your Checking Account May Be Closed for Business Transaction Use (Part 2)

Part 1 can be found here: USAA Bank Threatening to Close Account Because of Suspected Business Transactions

USAA can’t specify which transactions have been “determined” to be business transactions. It’s serious enough that they want to close my account. Yet, when I ask specifically which transactions are in question, they choose not to provide that information.

Will USAA tell me what the specific transactions are that have been determined as business transactions? Nope.

My Memory of Proto-SJW High School Students from 1998

One of my earliest memories encountering proto-SJW was 1998, Sophomore year, high school, Honors Social Studies near regressive-left Mecca, Seattle. I was 15 and sat next to or between two, intelligent, and attractive white ladies. Prior to class starting or during down time in class, something came up that was of poor quality and I off handedly remarked, “that’s ghetto!”

Then the two classmates remarked to one another:

“Why do people use that word: ‘ghetto?'”
“Yeah, I know. It’s so derogatory and racist.”

The weird thing about it was they weren’t talking to me directly, by saying, “Hey, Jefferson. Don’t use the word, ‘ghetto.’ That’s racist and you’re racist for saying that!”

I think the fact that I was Asian, generally a “nice guy,” and they knew me well enough to not be a flaming racist, kept them from directly confronting me, and instead chose to be indirectly passive aggressive.

Anyway, they were cute, I wanted them to like me, and I was thrown off guard to have a sudden wave of negative energy thrown at me, so I said nothing. I know. Not much of a story.

This incident occurred almost 20 years ago. Perhaps if I were a white male, things may had gone a lot more confrontational. I receive a certain level of immunity being a minority and child toward disadvantaged immigrants. With the way BLM and SJW violent behaviour is being glorified in media today by Progressive media, I imagine classrooms to be a lot more oppressive today than when I was in high school.

Universities definitley seem that way.

That’s one of many reasons why my children will be home educated.

(And if you’re wondering the names of the two girls referenced, I will politely abstain out of respect for the embarrassing things we’ve all done as teens and the high likelihood my memory is faulty, being colored by today’s events.)

RACIST, SEXIST, MISOGYNIST, BIGOT, XENOPHOBE: Republican Nominee

Watch this video and reflect on your emotional reaction. Confident, Cocky, White, Successful, Confrontational, and Direct Male with a Crude sense of humor. Feel threatened or do you feel entertained?

Now watch this video made by Hillary, which, as pointed out by Scott Adams (Dilbert Guy), is actually a pro-Trump ad: https://amp.twimg.com/v/85d61190-d754-468a-9c04-35b58ec11532

Consider the reality that both haters and lovers of Trump will watch the exact same videos and have exactly opposite emotional reactions.

Just as a reminder, my political views match closer toward Rothbardian Anarcho-Capitalism. Trump’s policies do not match up with what I would personally want as a President. But remember, we’re not primarily talking about policies here. This is essentially a popularity contest that is very personal to the individual, and then the individual will make up reasons after the fact considering them to be “rational.” It’s a “shorthand” our mind plays on ourselves in order to conserve brain power.

Being a real estate entrepreneur that is confident, cocky, Korean, successful, confrontational, and direct male with a crude sense of humor, I relate to the Donald, so it’s easy for me to understand his appeal. Being raised in a very conservative, Korean Christian church, I’m very familiar with the beta-male, religious, stick up their ass, no sense of humor, types. This was also my appeal to Mark Driscoll. I can assure you that I’ve “offended” quite a bit of people with my “style” over the years long before this most recent election cycle. The same people who are put off by Donald Trump will also find themselves put off by me since I exhibit a somewhat similar style, though I will make dirty jokes on the level of Joe Rogan, Louis C.K, Seth McFarlin, South Park, and Will Ferrel.

Reddit’s /r/the_donald very much reflects my humor. If you enjoy /r/the_donald we’d probably have a fun time together. If you’re horrified by /r/the_donald, you’ll most likely find me horrifying as well.

From this initial emotional reaction of whether or not “you like the guy” comes additional loaded terms such as: liar, crooked, racist, sexist, bad character, etc. Technically speaking, we are guilty of these “sins” to one degree or another. The intent of using these labels by detractors, however, are primarily to reinforce the initial emotional reactions of the haters. This is exactly the same techniques that were used against Mark Driscoll. Specific actions each individual has done can be discussed in order to bolster the severity of the “sin,” but the level of objectivity put into that research is severely hampered by how emotionally invested one is of their initial reaction.

I’d be more empathetic if people would simply say, “I don’t like Trump because he just rubs me the wrong way.” Instead, they try to hide their initial emotional reaction behind “the issues” and ambiguously charged terms that haven’t been rigorously researched. If you feel strong indignation from the mere fact of someone questioning your beliefs, it may not mean you’re wrong. It just means that you may want to properly recognize those emotions as being part of a normal biological response, rather than projecting those emotions at the individual that is questioning you.

I’m not so much “pro-Trump”, as I’m “anti intellectual laziness.” And I will admit, when I see intellectual laziness, it does trigger me in a primal sense due to various childhood experiences. I’m aware it’s an issue and I’m trying to work through it to be more sympathetic by better understanding the “moist robot” theory. I have my good and bad days like anybody else.

The Asian Man Triggered by Donald Trump

An Asian male threw this out as a basis against Trump’s character which thus disqualifies him as President. In a moment of clarity, my various collisions with psychology were brought together to analyze the psyche of the “Asian man.” For those of you that have been involved in the leadership of Korean churches, you may relate. Here was my response:

I don’t think anyone is worthy or unworthy of “support” based on a joke. It’s irrelevant to the discussion and you’re only throwing it out because you have an emotional, visceral reaction on something that can’t be objectified.

Perhaps you are triggered by successful, assertive, white males, that have a sense of humor. Lots of Asians tend to have problems with that due to their upbringing and how they’re told what is “proper” and “good manners.” Asian men tend to be “beta” by definition due to the collectivist values of Confucianism.

Trump embodies the blazen Individualism for which Asian cultures shame against. I can understand why many Asian men feel threatened by that. Asian churches are even worse in terms of shaming individualism.

Trump just happens to bring those insecurities to the surface and then the beta males will attempt to make up various excuses to justify the feelings that are being triggered without realizing the underlying programming they received that leads them to feel threatened in the first place.

The Formative Moment of the Rest of My Life (and the Story I Tell Myself)

The end of 6th grade marked the celebration of finishing elementary school where all the soon-to-be graduates in the school district would go to Camp Orkila for about a week. It was incredible fun full of cute girls, hyper boys, cheesy campy activities, “counselor” High School students even more sexually frustrated, and some teacher chaperons (see photo album: https://goo.gl/photos/VGdk2X5iFTyVurEH9).  When the buses arrived back at school for the parents to pick up their kids, my best friend’s mother picked me up instead of my mom. When I came home, someone in my family greeted me and showed me immediately to the Master Bedroom closet. It was empty, because my mother decided she couldn’t stay. She wouldn’t return to that house again and I wouldn’t have meaningful contact until I was 20.

What followed were months of fetal crying and brokenness as many young children who are abandoned by their mothers would react. I think I generally was hurt less than others may had been since there was never a particularly strong emotional connection between myself and my mother. Regardless, it’s still painful to feel abandoned and unwanted.

That summer, I went to a Korean-American Youth Group church retreat with a left arm in a sling from when I took a one armed turn on a bicycle while pressing the front brakes. Through an emotionally intense, “last night” worship session, I prayed the “sinner’s prayer” of brokenness and “accepted Christ in my heart.” The intense negative emotions associated with my mother’s abandonment were channeled toward an intense sense of “original sin” guilt and Christ’s crucifixion as the fix.

My 7th grade year was very awkward. It’s awkward for anyone newly entering middle school, but with the fairly recent abandonment and emotional development retardation, I believe the issues may had been amplified (see photo album: https://goo.gl/photos/3bUN1se2NFyzCKUW9). Somewhere toward the middle of the year, I was in my basement bedroom full of spiders and strange noises next to the boiler room. Stricken with emotion and determination from a source I cannot fully place, I lay prostrate on the ground crying. Inside my mind I had the image of the television depictions of kids with divorced parents that are sitting on a couch while crying with intense guilt since they blamed themselves for their parent’s divorce. “It’s my fault my parents divorced!” the TV child star wails. The child would be inconsolable and essentially turn into a useless, despondent, unproductive mush for the remainder of the show being a BURDEN.

As that image played in my head, I think I felt I had to make a choice. I could either surrender to my grief, or I could fight. Prostate on my knees; pounding the ground with my fists; that day I chose: “What do you need a mother for? So what? You have the infinite God of Love on your side. THE HEAVENLY FATHER. He is the only Father you need. If you have Him, you have more than enough.” With that pep talk, I “hardened.” I’m not sure what the best descriptive work is, but whatever fears, or concerns, or perceived weaknesses in my mind preventing me from achieving what I wanted, I was determined to not let stand in my way. I held disdain for that loser of a child blaming themselves for their parent’s divorce. I was NOT going to be a VICTIM. I was going to be a WINNER. I will succeed no matter the circumstances (At that time, my little 12 year old mind probably limited my biggest obstacle to only the mother abandonment emotions, and not things I had yet to experience or comprehend).

Toward the end of that school year, I ended up taking a chance on the school’s talent show playing some classical music entirely on my own initiative. It seemed to impress a lot of my peers and teachers and that was perhaps one of the first times I had “accomplished” something without anyone dictating my actions. From there, various risks I took lead to success (and some failures which I didn’t really care about), and I gradually discovered what I excelled at more than my peers, and what I sucked at (ie. Track & Field). With each success, confidence grew. With each failure, I knew I just needed to have discipline to practice and eventually conquer or reassess if it was something worth it to me to invest the resources to succeed.

Whenever I’d feel the inevitable hot, red face of embarrassment, or the “butterflies in the stomach,” I would simply draw from that same determination on my basement floor and push through. I did that at least until I had enough confidence in my previous accomplishments, became more comfortable with failure, and my body and mind became accustomed toward my sometimes socially risky behavior.

CHOICE & FREE WILL?
The common narrative I tell myself is that I’m constantly making the “choice” to be an INITIATOR and not the PROCRASTINATOR. At this point, I have lived so long as an Initiator and seen the great benefits, it’s difficult for me to remain passive. It takes more effort for me to NOT act. I am a fighter. I am a doer.

But, I wonder how it all started. From that moment in my bedroom I felt I had to make a “choice” between surrendering or fighting. It didn’t seem as though that choice was mundane, but it felt as though it was an EPIC choice which would determine the FATE of the rest of my life. I SAW the vision in my mind of the LOSER life, and it sickened me. And I wanted to crush it. And I gained ambition from someplace.

Perhaps one could say it was the Holy Spirit. Perhaps one could say it was psychological inspiration from a perceived “higher power.” Perhaps it was genetics? Perhaps my brain responds to grief with a “fight” rather than “flight” response? I can’t say exactly, but can I necessarily claim it was entirely by my “own strength of character” that I made the “right” choice?

I just don’t know what that means anymore since it’s hard for me to imagine today to ever demand a grieving 12 year old to “stop crying and man the FUCK UP!” How horrendous that would be for a full grown adult or parent to say that to a child abandoned by their mother!? What kind of monster would say such a thing!? We would coddle that child and salve their emotional wounds with affection. Yet, from someplace, inside my little head, that loud voice is what got me to push forward.

In my delusional mind, I try to take 100% credit and thus make myself out to be some kind of “hero.” But in reality, how can a 12 year old really be fully responsible for ANY of their actions? Nevertheless, it does seem to be the narrative I run with, and it seems to work well in increasing my personal energy.

It’s just that when I write out this formative experience, trying to take 100% credit for the “choice” of 12-year-old me seems a little absurd. But if it wasn’t 100% “free will,” then what the hell was it?